On Saturday, October 1st, 2016, we celebrated our Traditional Ijen Ngba. This is the traditional Ika wedding celebration for Ika people from the Delta region of Nigeria. Ika is a subset of the Igbo people. We hope you enjoy as much as we enjoyed it. More details on how we put it all together, soon!
A special shout out to ByDesign Films for their extraordinary work from start to finish!
Ahhh, engagements. We ladies dream of them–or not. Whatever floats your boat. I had no idea what I wanted — but I knew I wanted my family there in some way. I had a hunch the proposal was coming soon, but I didn’t think Christian would actually pull it off in Italy and in my favorite city in the world — Rome! The day after the engagement, I forced Christian to get pictures taken with me — because I’m obsessed with documenting life events — and luckily our waiter had a photography side hustle. Who knew?! So the morning after, we went around the city taking photos at our favorite Roman spots and the restaurant that we got engaged. And now, the overload of photos while I tell the story (Sorry).
Christian was hired to shoot a gig in England, and I thought it was the perfect time to go on vacation. We hadn’t been to Italy together. In college, I studied abroad in Rome (Hey AIFSers) and fell in love and Christian’s dad’s family is from Sicily. The Italian connection was met to be. I found a flight for literally next to nothing on skyscanner.com (travel hacker secret).
A few years ago, one of my sister’s close friends, Sally, moved to Italy and started a tourist gig. Christian had called her a few months back to help set up a dinner and proposal in the city. We had been touring the city for a few days, when Christian said to “look nice” because we were going somewhere special. That would be Gruppo Di Rienza, in front of the Panthenon (not to be confused with the Parthenon in Greece). It was delicious and we had great views of the square.
We had an awesome dinner and I remember looking up and thinking “this is like a movie.” Also, Christian kept looking behind me and I, being direct and overbearing, kept saying, “Who are you looking at?!?!” He swore no one. So , I stopped pandering and just took in the environment. I remember the clear sky, the stars, the way the Panthenon was lit up, just beautiful and just ridiculous. *blessed* (obnoxious). Then, I told Christian, “welp…time to go to the bathroom.” And Christian, basically yells, “WHY WOULD YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM?” At this point, I looked at Christian and he was profusely sweating…so I sat down, slowly.
Then, a man playing an accordion stopped right in front of our table.
Me: Wow
Christian: What
Me: That man abruptly stopped RIGHT in front of our table like he is playing for us or something.
Christian: …
A minute later, a tray comes out with roses, a cappuccino with the words “i love you” in, and a box. Christian said something like, “6 years is a long time..” and because I am deeply emotional, I started boo-hoo crying and did not hear anything else he said.
Afterwards, the crowd clapped, and good old SALLY came out of the woodworks, like “I’m Sally!!!!” with a bottle of campaign and more stuff from my family. Then, Christian shows me pre-recorded videos that each member of my family had sent so they couldn’t be there.
It was truly magical. Then I went into a deep shock for a few hours, but the next day — I was okay!
Long story short:
As time goes on, and people return to posting about normal things and happy times, I urge you to not forget how uncomfortable last week felt. I’ve only just processed everything and here are on my thoughts in the longest Facebook post known to man [or woman]. 🙂
This past week was beyond devastating. Nonetheless, I had the privilege to talk to people from ALL walks of life about the implications and realities of American history for people who are not white males. I wanted to take the time to say thank you to everyone who sent a text, Facebook message, email or call because they had questions about #whiteprivilege#blackslivesmatter and #racerelations in our country today or because they knew I needed a hug after seeing my Facebook rant 🙂.
The truth is, last week, being from #Dallas and having grown up in a melting pot of white everything, my Facebook feed was an eye-opening and disheartening series of posts and opinions on the value of my life, a black life, and all my kinfolk. It was almost too much to bear and after I got over the devastation of knowing that some people I love, essentially had no regard for my father, brother, or future sons, I became angry.
I became MOST angry at the silence of many, and the reality that these tragedies would take place, saturate the media, and then nothing would happen. Again.
But being a kindergarten teacher, I understood that my anger was a secondary, reactionary emotion. The true emotion I felt was a deep sorrow and pain–I realized that some people that I’ve grown up with and love, may not be the people I thought they were. It was heart-breaking.
Additionally, these murders triggered something else. As a teacher of 3rd grade black boys this year, I had an unbreakable thought, that I could be giving them my ALL and trying to instill “character” and in the end — even obeying a police officer would still get them killed. It was a hopelessness that I pray will one day leave my heart, but in all honestly, it hasn’t and I doubt it will for the rest of my life.
I was equally disturbed by the murders of the police officers, and saddened and confused by someone thinking reactionary violence would resolve our historical issues. Not every cop is bad, and it was equally devastating that someone would put our city in such a negative light.
But the calls and text and questions from people, especially my white friends, have shown me that these murders were also a wake-up call for so many people. We have to ride this wave of people yearning for more information and knowledge before the tide again turns to “out of sight, out of mind”.
We have to understand that #blacklivesmatter and #backtheblue are not mutually exclusive. It’s just that when some people get pulled over by cops, they simply think, “oh man, I’m going to get a ticket” while other think, “I might die if I make the wrong move.”
That my friends, is the issue at hand.
While it is VERY important to understand that I DO NOT speak for all black people (I can only speak to my own intersectional identity of being a 1st-generation-Nigerian American who identifies as black and is a female who has benefited from certain privileges herself)– I am someone who prides myself on being a connector and a safe space for anyone to come to and ask questions and have a debate and discussion, where we learn AND listen from one another.
However, as I mentioned before, it is not my job to make you feel comfortable. What I mean by this is… you can’t ask me to sugarcoat my truth and lived experience, so you won’t get defensive or be offended. I’ve had to live in my defensiveness my whole life, dealing with comments I’ll tell you about later, and so I refuse to placate you by masking the truth.
That being said. What do we do? So many people are asking this question all over all my social media pages. And while, it’s very comfortable for me to talk, it’s not very comfortable to totally put myself out there, but I’m challenging myself to do so now.
Maybe people don’t care what I think. Maybe people think I’m a scoundrel. Maybe people think I’m very forward, “aggressive” and what not. Those labels are for another day. But today, I’m taking the risk, so while my goal is to get you to think, I realize I my offend you. I’m sorry in advance.
SIMPLE STEPS:
1) VULNERABILITY/EMPATHY: We all need to work on being a little more vulnerable, myself included. Especially my generation though–we live behind our social media lives and attempt to show what just…isn’t real …all the time. Some of us are going through trying times, the death of a loved one, addiction, infertility, divorce, harsh financial situations, and we don’t talk about this with our friends. We’re scared of judgment. We need to shift our conversations to be #real. We need to be able to just listen, to hear another perspective without being ready to “fire” an answer that “proves” our opinion is right. As I read in the book Wonder (below), if given the choice between being right and being kind….choose kind.
2) WHITENESS: This is an interesting one, mainly because a lot of my best friends are white people. Many were quick to post about the police officers families, but did NOT post about the black fathers that were killed and their families that were left behind. Why? Can we start thinking and asking about the pressures of being white in our society? Would you have been berated by your peers had you posted #blacklivesmatter? Everyone thinks they know what it means to be “black” so maybe we need to examine more of what it means to be white. Being white does not mean BBQs, socials, the Hamptons, and Junior League. It’s way more complex. There was a time when white did not mean – Catholic, Jewish, Irish, and many others. There was “races” of white. When, where, and WHY did three prominent colors happen? Later I’ll get to books, but here’s a fascinating line from Ta-Nehisi Coates, Between the World and Me, “As for now, it must be said that the process of washing the disparate tribes white, the elevation of the belief in being white, was not achieved through wine tastings and ice cream socials, but rather through the pillaging of life, liberty, labor, and land; through the flaying of backs; the chaining of limbs; the strangling of dissidents; the destruction of families; the rape of mothers; the sale of children; and various other acts meant, first and foremost, to deny (black people) the right to secure and govern our own bodies.” We need to start normalizing “whiteness” so it stops being the apex of everything IF YOU BELIEVE in the “ideals” of our constitution that says ALL MEN (*and women) were created equal.
Here’s three other great articles:
– https://alittlemoresauce.com/…/what-my-bike-has-taught-me-…/
– https://alittlemoresauce.com/…/my-bike-and-white-privilege…/
– http://www.nytimes.com/…/opin…/sunday/what-is-whiteness.html
3) MENTAL HEALTH: I noticed that everyone was very quick to call the murderer of the people officers a terrorist, but I haven’t heard much about his mental health state. Everyone needs to see a therapist, ESPECIALLY people in the black community. I can personally say seeing a therapist likely stopped my very anxious self from having a nervous breakdown! We have got to start fighting for mental health initiatives and rights in this country. We have got to start fighting for jobs that let us rest, take breaks when we have babies, and respect our right to live a life full of happiness. We have to break the pressures of living a life to please others instead of one that satiates our own desires.
4) NOTICING & ADDRESSING (LOOKING IN THE EYE/ASKING QUESTIONS): Why do we look down or away or cross the street when we see someone the media has told us is “bad” or “unclean” or whatever. What if we started looking people in the eye and treated every human being as a life that mattered? We don’t have time to do this always, I get it. And I sure as hell need to work on this, and will continue to. Just a thought. What if we were more aware of organizations (even seemingly innocuous ones) that kind of continue the narrative of “white is right?” For instance, the Alzheimer’s-fundraising “Blondes vs. Brunettes” flag football game… now if there was a league called “Box Braids vs. Afros” would you (a white person) feel comfortable joining? Maybe. How could you bring up the fact that some people may not feel welcome in your organization? We all just need to start noticing & addressing to practice our empathy to understand what it might feel like to be a minority in this country.
5) SOCIAL MEDIA COMMENTARY: Too many people hide behind social media. Period. If you share something and want to start a conversation, why not say, ‘thoughts?” We need to keep the trolls at home more often, but start the discussions that will move our communities forward.
COMPLEX STEPS:
1) Become a Teacher: This is a call to action for everyone. I’m also SPECIFICALLY calling for my friends of color. The education world NEEDS YOU. It needs bright, critical thinking people of color who won’t fall victim to the BS that is currently present in the system. I understand the position you’re in. We “made it” we deserve the title of “doctor, lawyer, engineer” the clout that comes with it (and the paycheck!), But even being a teacher for 2 years will be a life-altering experience and could significantly impact your students! You just have to remember to stay true to yourself. I have worked at three charters school systems in NYC that are all trying their best to help end the inequities of our education system. Each has their flaws (as every company does), but I would be MORE THAN HAPPY to put you in touch with people.
And if you don’t want to quit your job, SET UP a partnership between your organization and your local school to help teachers set up for the beginning of the year. Teachers have thousands of (often) pointless signs to cut out, things to hang, lists to make, etc. We will delegate everything to willing volunteers! Our fiances’ are tired of cutting out papers alone!
2) Become a Police Office: BUT you HAVE TO REMEMBER TO STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF. GROUPTHINK is real and alive in our public systems! Be true to yourself and you will make a difference. I do feel for police officers who get a bad rep, because all teachers also get a bad rep for the sour apples too. We need more critically thinking, empatheic officers who are willing to not just POLICE the communities but SERVE and Build relationships as well! If officers got to know their communities, they would understand that being big and black does not mean you’re a “thug” … it might just mean you’re big and black. If there anything like my big and black brother — they could be giant teddy bears.
Set up something community-oriented with the local police officers and youth!! Let’s help police officers build community with the people they are serving!!
3) VOTE: At all levels! (Someone direct us to a good resource for this). I will try to get better before the election! It’s not just the big elections. The house of representatives write the “bills” (Remember, I’m just a bill, just an ordinary bill, and I’m sittin’ here on Capital Hill”) that have to pass the Senate and the President. If we have all NRA loving’ reps… that bill is not getting written! Hound them! Find them here: http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/
4) WATCH FOX NEWS, MSNBC, CNN on Different Days AKA GET EXPOSURE: The #1 problem I see with our world is lack of exposure. We hate “gays” yet we’ve never met one, We are “pro-life” yet we’ve never talked to a mother who went through that choice OR children who went through our horrible adoption / foster care system. I have continually put myself in uncomfortable situations to FORCE myself to grow, and it’s truly worked wonders for my perspective (I’m very proud of myself, by the way :)). I’m proudly an independent, moderate. If you can’t travel, or don’t live around a diverse group of people, I encourage you to watch the news of different stations. A don’t just sit there saying, “well this is crap!!” Just listen and practice empathy! A big, big problem we have is that we can’t empathize with others because we block off ALL opportunities for discussions with people who have different beliefs from us. If we are truly dedicating to changing then to have to listen to BOTH TRUMP and CLINTON. BOTH of them. They are who we’ve got. Learn about where each person stands. Don’t let people around you convince you who to vote for. Vote for the person who truly encompasses your values and beliefs.
5) BOOKS: I am a voracious reader. We all need to become voracious readers and fast! We need to know our history, and teach our children our history. Some books I recommend for now:
WONDER: This book is phenomenal and about differences, kindness, bullying, everything. A read for everyone, especially those will kids who are 1st graders and up. My school made this summer reading for ALL staff and families. Excellent. Excellent.
BETWEEN THE WORLD AND ME: I accidentally read half of this book in a day. Not done yet, but it is very, very real. It is a “letter” that Ta-Neishi Coates wrote to his black son.
THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MALCOLM X: If you open your heart to this book, you will understand why the recent killings are that much more tragic to the black community. This book is required reading!
This wins as the longest post I’ve ever written. Just my thoughts, but it stems from the belief that if #blacklivesmatter, then we can finally say #alllivesmatter, no?
What else can we do? What conversations have you had, I would love to hear!!
Here are more resources I’ve seen or people have given me over the past week that I feel do a good job at explaining the current zeitgeist as well:
– https://www.facebook.com/CaniceNnannaNetwork/videos/vb.307827625912734/1395591037136382/?type=2&theater
– http://fusion.net/…/the-next-time-someone-says-all-lives-…/…
I have had numerous people ask about my advent calendar and my sister has been on me to write a blog for the last five months, so I decided that this would be the perfect opportunity!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! Oh wait, we have a holiday between Halloween and Christmas called Thanksgiving!! I know everyone is already preparing for the Christmas Season.
With our advent calendar full of activities and scripture readings, I’m still trying to figure out my balance of Santa and Jesus during Christmas. For me, Santa is a character just like Mickey Mouse. But we’ll see how that goes as Aidan grows up and is influenced by others and their beliefs about him.
I think it is important for people to understand what the advent season is about and why we celebrate it. This is the website does a pretty good job of explaining this: http://m.christianity.com/christian-life/christmas/what-is-advent.html
Additionally, I use the book Journey to the Manager to plan the scripture readings for my advent calendar. It breaks it down for little ones, and I really enjoy it!
November 29 – Red and Green Pancakes (The Advent season begins!)
November 30 – Color advent wreath (Learn about Advent!)
December 1 – Hang Advent Tree & Stockings (God the Father, Psalm 77:13-15)
December 2 – Clean Out Toys for Donations (King David, Acts 13:22-23)
December 3 – Take Can foods and Snacks to Homeless shelter (Isaiah, Isaiah 7:14)
December 4 – Drop Toys off at Homeless Shelter and Salvation Army (Micah, Micah 5:2)
December 5 – Annual Santa Picture at Jordan’s (Zechariah, Zechariah 9:9)
December 6 – Pick an Angel Tree Family (Anna, Luke 2:36-38)
December 7 – Macy’s Letter to Santa (Make a Wish Foundation) (Simeon, Luke 2:25-26)
December 8 – Make Cards for Troops overseas (Angel Gabriel, Luke 1:26-27, 30-31)
December 9 – Build a Snowman with Marshmallows (Zechariah, Luke 1:11-13)
December 10 – Buy Angel Tree Family Gifts & Goodies for Troops (Elizabeth, Luke 1:39-45)
December 11 – Hot Cocoa and Polar Express Movie (John the Baptist, Luke 1:13)
December 12 – Polar Express Train Ride (King Herod, Matthew 2:1-3)
December 13 – Make Ginger Bread Houses (High Priest, Hebrews 5:1, 5)
December 14 – Make Paper Christmas Garland (Red and Green Chains) (Caesar Augustus, Luke 2:1-3)
December 15 – Make Christmas Gifts for Class Party (Donkey, John 12:15)
December 16 – Chatham Light Parade (Innkeeper, Luke 2:7)
December 17 – Draw and Color an Angel (Angel, Luke 2:9-12)
December 18 – Pjs, Popcorn and Arthur Christmas Movie (Shepherds, Luke 2:15-16)
December 19 – Candy Making & Mickelson Christmas (Heavenly Host, Luke 2:13-14)
December 20 – Make Paper Crowns (Wise Men, Matthew 2:1)
December 21 – Holiday Lights at the Zoo, (Wise Men Talk w/ Herod, Matthew 2:5 -6)
December 22 – Visit Live Nativity, (Wise Men Offer Gifts, Matthew 2:10 – 11)
December 23 – Bake Cookies for Santa & Bible Christmas Story (Joseph, Matthew 1:20-21)
December 24 – Hardy’s Reindeer Farm with the Family, Christmas Matching Pjs, ‘Twas the Night before Christmas & Leave Cookies for Santa (Mary, Luke 1:28-31)
December 25 – Birthday Cake for Jesus (Christmas Day Celebration, John 3:16)
Feel free to use all of these, a few or none! In the comments leave different things you do for advent so we can all get ideas from each other! I hope you have a Happy Holiday Season!
XO,
Jess
Oh and here is the best Halloween Pic we got from last night! Displays their personalities perfectly! haha! We can’t win them all!
Lannisters always pay their debts.
Do You?
Most 20-Somethings I know are lying, or have lied about their financial situation, to others and themselves. #factsonly. Okay, maybe YOU haven’t, but you may have heard / used these expressions recently:
So we really feel like this:
But then we post pictures like this…
The quotes above are statements that good friends have told me personally, and the current zeitgeist doesn’t help. TV shows like (anything on E! or Bravo) and social media (particularly….Instagram) have led us (Millenials/20-somethings, etc.) to believe that it is normal for middle-class folks to have closets full of Lanvin dresses and shoe racks full of Christian Louboutin or Giuseppe Zanottis, but this just isn’t the case.
In fact, the average 20-something has about $45,000 in debt, ranging from $12,000 for those in the early 20s and in the $70k range for those nearing the 30-year mark.
It’s great if your parents, boyfriends, suga-daddies and suga-mommies are giving you gifts (hey, we gotta eat), but how much more satisfying when you can buy those things in CASH and without fear – or whatever emotion it is you feel when you swipe your credit card knowing d*** well that you CANNOT AFFORD IT. (sidenote: I hate using *** to mask bad words, but in the case that one of my students, their parents, or anyone reads this…you get the point.)
I’m not here to sugarcoat. And I’m not an expert. But I am really good at finding resources and doing the research so you don’t have to. Additionally, I’m on my way to being totally debt-free (credit-card and student loan) by 27, after attending a pricey private college in California, graduate school, moving between 3 expensive cities in 5 years (and experiencing the broker’s fees that came with it), and traveling around the world. So here’s the first article about confronting your financials RIGHT NOW to get your financial life back in order and get on the path to financial freedom.
1. Breathe and Brace Yourself. What I am asking you to do is VERY HARD. It is VERY SCARY TO LOOK AT YOUR WHOLE FINANCIAL SITUATION. CRY. HIT SOMETHING. SLAP A B****. Whatever you have to do. You need to get mentally prepared to see your situation for what it is. And when you think you can’t take it anymore, read this –on the 5 cycles of grief. You will make it through this, but you must DO THE WORK (References to Ivanla Vazant will be frequent, deal with it.)
2. Sign up for Online Accounts for EVERYTHING that impacts your money. Your 401K or 403B. Your credit cards. Your mortgage. Your store credit cards (seriously?!? get rid of those!!). Use the same username for everything and switch up the passwords. I put all of my accounts & passwords in a spreadsheet or you can get the app 1Password so you don’t forget. If things are really bonkers, think about starting a new gmail account that only holds all your financial information. Do NOT make excuses for yourself.
3. Sign up for Mint.com. Their slogan is the “best free way to manage your money” and I’ve tried EVERYTHING and really think they are! You simply load all your credit card information and log-in to their platform and your WHOLE financial picture pops up. You also load assets like your 401K, IRAs, or mortgage. This is also where you cry when you realize your net worth is a negative 5-digit number. But remember, this if you need to. This is where you make your budget. Don’t try to do it on your own with spreadsheets. You won’t. This is also where you set goals to pay off loans or credit card debt. With this platform, I was able to pay off $7,000 in credit card debt in 6 months (Yay…World Travel and being foolish). Don’t be scared, just follow all the advice. But because of Mint’s success, they have partnered with numerous companies to bring additional services to you. You don’t need all of them, so be weary.
4. Sign up for CreditKarma.com. Don’t pay for your credit score. Ever. Don’t let anyone lie to you either. Don’t sign up for a free one and then get charged $12.00 next month. Credit Karma is free and awesome! You may be new to the credit score world, and I will tell you — you need a 700 minimum. There are various reasons why, and I’ll be writing more about it soon! But I’ll say moving to NYC, I was slapped in the face with shady brokers who took advantage of me due to my credit-score. Work to get it up there — you can do it! Additionally, with all the breaches happening, you need to ensure month-to-month that nothing suspicious is going on with your finances.
5. Sign up for the LearnVest.com Mailing List. LearnVest is awesome because it’s all about free financial advice and its geared towards women! What they say about themselves: We’ve distilled the cluttered world of personal finance into a 7-step program. Basically, they are an online platform (similar to Mint) that gives you the full picture of your financial situation, and you continue to work with a real certified financial planner to hit your goals and be happy and debt-free FOREVAAAAAA!! Sounds great, right? I personally, don’t use the service, but I love love love their daily emails that have great inspirational articles such as, “I Paid off $90K in 4 Years” and “Are You Behaving like a Poor Person?”
6. Find an Accountant and / or Financial Planner. Yes. TurboTax and H&R Block are great, but did you know that the many of the people at H&R Block are not certified public accountants? Post a conversation with an H&R Block Employee (yes I was crazy enough to do taxes with both TurboTax and H&R Block in the same year to see who would give a bigger tax return), I learned H&R employees take a “tax preparation course” that is about 70-hours and a test, and then start filing people’s taxes. I have nothing against anyone at H&R Block and am proud of them for taking on a seasonal job to make more income, but do they really have “the eye” and the knowledge of a CPA to get every deduction out there? You should DEFINITELY find a trusted accountant and use him for at least one year to ensure you aren’t missing anything and then use these programs like TurboTax and H&R online. In NYC, I use Joe Colacino Tax in Brooklyn. It’s quite a machine. Read some Yelp reviews. Prepare to Wait. But get your taxes done in one sitting with professionals. Schedule an appointment and tell them you got their info from this post!
7. Surround Yourself with Like-Minded People. You may come to the realization that if you want to pay off all your debt before major life events (marriage, babies, career, etc.), it may mean huge sacrifices that people around you will not understand. To pay off that $50k in debt by age 27, it may mean dropping to a $100/wk for “extras” like cars and mani/pedis. Or even worse, limiting cupcakes, cookies, or coffee. The WORST is being surrounded by people who say, “it doesn’t matter… join in”. Let me tell you as my Nigerian relatives would tell you. “THE DEVIL IS A LIAR” Or with my dad’s favorite proverb, “If you sleep with dogs, you get fleas.” Explain to your friends your goals because you are probably the inspiration they need to also take control of their financial life. Here are some awesome blogs on personal finance – to help begin your journey.
This is obviously not EVERYTHING you need to become a Lannister (you also need a heart of coal), but you WILL be on your way to being debt-free. Any other amazing tools out there? Please share in the comments below! We (the sis and I) are all about building a reliable community – join the convo.
You can do this, but it starts today. Right now. And soon…. you’ll be like this guy…
And Sunday, April 6, let’s see if anyone else heeds the Lannister’s advice as well. #khaleesiforever
**Next week, I will start posting about each individual park and run through the schedule that was in my last post. I will give you a heads up on the most popular rides, “Princess Alerts” (i.e. Pocahontas was only at Animal Kingdom and we missed her!) At the end, I will go through a packing list. I do have to tell you, I am a horrible light-packer. But, I will try to point out the must-haves at the parks. For right now here is a random list and a little information.
*Also, Nic has added her ridiculous commentary to this post. Remember she is a 26-year-old New York Hipster, in my opinion. (Nic: I wouldn’t say hipster… I’m still thinking of the word.)
1. This is NOT the same Disney that I went to as a child. When the characters walked around, you ran up to them to sign autographs. Today, they are stationed in different locations, and you wait in line to see the different characters. Channing did get the unique experience of walking along Daisy and Donald (THIS NEVER HAPPENS ANYMORE!!)–it was so cute and he hammed it up! The characters always have security around them, and will not let you approach them until they arrive at their destination. (Nic: Why is this so funny? Seriously, Mickey with armed guards? I can’t believe this.)
Channing’s Walk of Fame
Aidan Taking his Autograph time with Minnie Seriously
Aidan…so serious with Minnie
2. Military Families: Disney has a ton of discounts and offers. We can get up to 40% off on hotels and park tickets. Call Disney World and speak to someone of the phone, they will run through every discount that is available to you. Here is the general Disney Number: (407) 939-5277. I love that Disney still believes in talking to people on the phone! They were such a great help.
3. For Military families–the Park Hopper is a great deal. But, honestly–we only park hopped one day and that was the day we went to Epcot. If you have older kids maybe around 8 and older, you may park hop. But for the most part, you stay at the same park all day trying to do all activities. Make sure to make the best choice for your family and be realistic about park hopping. Also, tickets are the one thing I would say just buy direct from Disney. I have read horror stories about eBay, brokers and be wary of online scams.
4. Photo Pass is actually worth the money. Initially, we did not get the photo pass because we have a nice camera and figured we would get all the pictures we wanted. We kept the photo cards anyway ( more on “photo cards” in the link). By the end of the week the photo pass captured pictures we all wanted, so we ended up getting the entire package. They take all your photos with the characters, on the rides, and even in front of the castle. Click here to get more information.
5. Princess Lines are INSANE! If you have a little princess, be prepared to wait in LONG LINES! Especially when it comes to Belle and Ariel. They both have their own individual areas and the lines are long. (Nic: Slide note – Princess lines are long.) Check Epcot Center for other princesses, because that is the least child friendly park their princess lines are not as long. (Nic: the rejects. They need love too). As I am blogging I will have a “Princess Alert” that will let you know where some of the princesses are outside of Magic Kingdom.
Princes Tenley with two of her Favorites, Cinderella and Snow White!
6. Remember there is only ONE Mickey, ONE Minnie, and ONE everyone else. Which means, when there is a parade, and if that character is in the parade, they will no longer be at their station in the park. Disney is very serious about this. (Nic: ?!?!?!?!?!?! I…can’t.) So for example, if there is a 3 pm parade, and Merida from Brave is in the parade, at 2:50pm she will leave until the Parade is over. Line attendants will keep you posted on how much time that character has at that destination. Since we had four kids with us, we had autograph books and cameras ready. We got the shots, had them sign, and we were out of there!
7. Autograph books! I found a gem of photo books! Well, it was $50, and yes its very cute and I will even give you the link here. But this book was the book I ended up using. Yea, the $7.95 book from the Disney Store worked the best! They have a Princess version for $19.99 and they are perfect. They allow for a picture and a story. When Aidan went back to school, I sent that book with him.
Inside of the Disney Autograph Book
Front Cover of the Fancy Autograph Book
Inside of Autograph Book (that’s right, empty pages)
8. BRING FOOD! Yes, Disney allows you to bring your own coolers and food. We did a combo of both park food and food we brought. We brought lots of water bottles, fruit, and my sister-in-law brought sandwiches. It will save you a ton of money, and that way you can go to the nicer places for dinner. We stayed off property, so I have no info for you about meal plans, but I do have to say the Mickey Bands are awesome!
9. Let your child NAP! Even if they are going to miss something cool. Aidan is a great napper, so he would nap at the park. We did not stay on the resort. If we did we probably would have just taken the tram back to the hotel. One day he missed half of a show, but I would rather him be rested then grumpy the rest of the day. Everyday Aidan took a 2 – 4 hour nap at the park and we were able to stay at all parks from opening to close for 6 days in a row! WHAT A TROOPER!
10. YOUR FEET WILL BE ON FIRE! No matter how “in shape” you are, your body may not be used to walking constantly, pushing a stroller, caring for an exhausted baby/child for 8 – 10 hour days in the sun. I brought a pair of flip-flops, because sometimes I just needed a break from Tennis shoes.
11. TAKE A STROLLER!!!! I have always believed that “you only inconvenience yourself when you have small children and no stroller.” (Nic: Jess, who said that?”) People, this is not Disneyland, and at Disneyland I WOULD STILL HAVE A STROLLER. (Nic: Hi, My name is Jessica. I s*** on Disneyland, and it didn’t do anything to me!!”). There were 8-year-olds in strollers at the end of the day. (In my own defense to Nic’s Response, I asked Wiki Answers How many times bigger is Disney World then Disneyland? The answer was, and I quote “Well, You can fit three Disneyland’s in the Magic Kingdom parking lot and still be able to park 300 cars. It’s a LOT bigger. You should walk about 20 miles per day in WDW!” – Thank you wiki for backing me up!) Side note: There are stroller rentals everywhere! Lots of places so rent the stroller I have, the Citi Mini Baby Jogger which is an awesome Stroller! We took bike locks because we heard that it might be a good idea and we only used them once. That was because we saw the very last Finding Nemo Show and it was Dark, but there was about 100 strollers outside that did not have locks.
12. Of course Disney does an amazing job of putting the most expensive toys in the store eye level. Aidan was easy since he was two, we barley bought him anything, we felt so guilty on day 4 we made a point to get him something. But have a plan for spending money at the park. If you are on a budget keep to it. If you have older kids make sure to have a plan. We spoke to one woman and we loved her idea. Everyday her kids had an allotted amount of money they could spend. If they didn’t use it, they carried over the amount. This way if they wanted a more expensive item they could “save up” and by it.
13. JUST A REMINDER: Don’t be disappointed if you don’t get to do everything. It’s unrealistic unless you take 3 -4 days at each park.
14. Expect a few tantrums. Adults included.
15. Have a BLAST! We made amazing memories and can’t wait to experience again. (LIKE 10 years from now, not anytime soon! I’m lying and being dramatic of course, we are going to California Adventure in a few months!)
Fireworks at the Castle
**If you are going to Disney in less than 6 months, sorry I did not get this out sooner. Some of the tips require knowing you are going 6 months in advance.**
There are two main types of people that go to Disney World. There are my parents who say, “Let’s go to Disney”—its not planned, they just go to the resort. We don’t even know about ½ of the cool stuff Disney has, we wait in lines forever to ride rides, and we have a fantastic time not realizing how much money we could have saved. We don’t know how much of the Disney experience we truly missed, but it doesn’t matter because we had a blast.
Then there is my husband’s family, who plans to go to Disney 8 months in advance, and holds planning meetings finds out all the great “magical” shows, dinners and events Disney has to offer. We go, have a blast, and get the full intense Disney experience—ending with a list of more to add for next time.
Both ways work, and honestly both will have you broke at the end of it. But Disney World has so much to offer these days that planning your trip to maximize your experience seems like a must.
Basics about Disney World:
There are 4 main parks: Animal Kingdom, Magical Kingdom, Hollywood Studios and Epcot (In case you don’t know—there is also Downtown Disney, Disney’s Blizzard Beach Water Park, Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon Water Park, and the ESPN Sports Complex). If you are going for an extended period of time, plan to spend most of your time at Magical Kingdom and Hollywood Studios If you have young children. Those are the two most child-friendly parts, and it is impossible to get everything done in a day!
I will blog about each park and give you some ins and outs on planning. But here are your first steps in planning.
1) Download and Register the My Disney Experience App. This is an AMAZING app, it gives you wait times for rides, days of shows, a live map, and was just a great tool when we were trying to figure out fast passes.
2) Go to the Disney website and start making a list of the different rides, shows and restaurants that you are interested in.
https://disneyworld.disney.go.com
Most Popular – BE OUR GUEST! We could not get a reservation, and it was a 2.5-hour wait at lunch. Apparently, Dinner is amazing here.
3) Make your Itinerary. Once you have the dates you’ll be visiting each park and the park’s hours (i.e, being aware of their extra “Magic Hours”) start putting together an itinerary. Below, is the itinerary we ended up using at the parks. This was great because we made them 4 x 6 and could check off what we were able to do while we were at the park. (Nicolette’s comment: If at this point, you are thinking this woman is crazy. We are on the same page. But it did look like they didn’t miss much.) Order your Disney Planning CD but clicking here. *They also have park maps on the website now!
Disney World Itinerary – Blog (This does not have every ride at Disney, just what we wanted to do.)
4) ENJOY YOURSELF!!!! The one piece of advice I really hope you take is to enjoy yourself. You are not going to get to do everything, see everything, it will be tiring, and as parents, you may not agree on what to do sometimes. Unless you are planning 3 days at each park, you are not going to be able to get every character signature, ride all the rides, eat at all the cool places, and see all the shows. This is not a trip for the faint of heart (or the faint of wallet either!!). It’s a very expensive trip and not everyone is blessed with the ability to go. Remember the magic, and enjoy yourself!
Yes, Jerod and I really did all of this (even the crazy 5am part), and it was well worth it because the trip was so amazing, and so fun. It is truly a magical experience to see your child light up when they see Mickey or during the fireworks when they look at you and go “Whoa!” Disney was amazing as a child, but as a parent it became Magical.
Don’t forget to leave a note and let me know if you need any further information!!!
All I want to do is be this fierce when I grow up.
Hey boos!
Boo is my affectionate word for anyone person in my life, who wants to be happy and lead a wonderful life. If you’re a teacher and you’re reading, that’s you!
A teacher’s worst nightmare (and why reading books on classroom management is 100% necessary. Also, why my 3-Part series on Jim Fay’s & David Funk’s “Teaching with Love and Logic” is also necessary.
This blog is for all the teachers out there (it’s the beginning of the year, we need help), but definitely continue reading if you want to be a better friend or parent as well. If you haven’t checked out part one, do so here. But you if have, keep on reading! Your students will be ever so grateful that you did.
1. The Power of Autonomy & Self-Concept: “Our need for autonomy & self-concept are so powerful that we will sometimes engage in conduct that is detrimental to ourselves in order to hang on to them…We all want to have some control over our lives and when we feel we are losing that control, we will fight to the end to get it back. Likewise, if our sense of self-worth is being attacked, we will rise at all costs to defend it.” (pg. 68). Ohhhh… this explains why you [I] have to throw in that final jab — just so you know you didn’t lose, in totality!
2. Resentment: “When a student’s or a teacher’s need is unspoken, there is fertile ground for resentment.” (pg. 69). You will have to explicitly teach more than academic skills to be successful. Children can’t do what we expect, if we haven’t taught them how.
3. Perceptions and Reality. “A significant danger we all face is to interpret another person’s behavior based on our own perceptions” (pg. 72). But this is actually what kids do. That’s why we have to be up on child development! What is the lens with which they see the world?
4. Achievement Paradigm Shift: “Prefer success that comes from achievement that is the result of ability rather than effort.” (pg. 81). Sometimes we really do need to give an A for effort. Tell Chuckie that its ok to just be Chuckie, and not Tommy.
5. Principles vs. System: basically, you should read this whole chapter if you are working in a very strict Disciple System (Tallies, Checks, Colors) vs. Principles Based System (Values that your actions are based on). Starts on pg. 99 – Good luck! Okay, if you still cant – Disciple System – you’ll always have to create new rules (and that’s exhausting), prnciples (values guide you to make logical consequences, “If self-control is a value, how can I allow my child to understand this is what I want?)
6. Self-Concept is at an All-Time Low. “A large part of the dilemma relates to the loss of the extended family. Before if young parents had a problem, the normal procedure was to talk to Grandma, who had built up years of wisdom through experience. Today, the situation is far different, and [many] come to rely on “experts” who are giving specific advice based on general experiments for kids whom they’ve barely seen…The real variables that affect kids’ behaviors – interpersonal dynamics, religious views, economic pressures–which would be well known by grandma, may be totally unknown by the expert.” (pg. 117). NOTE: Talk to granny every once in a while. She made it, so she knows a thing or two.
7. A Note for Parents. (“[in order to not damage self-concepts, parents and teachers have become afraid to say no, to set limits, or to hold kids accountable for bad decisions.” (pg. 118) This is berry, berry, bad.
8. The Principle of Self-Concept: “It is extremely important, because we tend to act out who we believe we are.” (pg. 123). NOTE: We can all make it on the big-screen.
9. What they REALLY mean. “We respond to covert message much more than we ever do to the overt.” (pg. 126). This is one of those duh statements that just really hits home.
10.Our self-concept: Two characteristics. 1. It’s fragile & easily broken 2. It’s conservative & resistant to change. (pg. 127) Thus, we need to work with a child’s PERCEPTION of the world, rather than their behavior in it. Game change — you gotta play into things a little bit, and think about yourself for a little bit..
11. You learn from who you love. “Students in the presence of teachers who fill this basic need (i.e, validation of worth) tend to put forth extra effort to maintain their expectation, as well as their relationship with the teacher.” (p. 129)
12. Kids Need ___ To Improve their Self-Concepts. Make their worth dependent on how they feel about themselves, and not how somebody else feels about them.
13. Tattling: Student: “Those boys were spitting on the playground.” Teacher: “Don’t you hate it when that happens?” (pg. 134)
14. Control or Cooperation, Choose your Choice: “We either give control on our terms, or the kids will take it on theirs” “Control is like love. The more you give away, the more you get in return.” “Think… do I want to control kids or do I want to obtain their cooperation?” “We need control over our own lives. When we don’t get it, we go after control over others.” (pg. 137 – 139)
15. The Only Rule You Need: “You can solve a problem any way you want, provided it doesn’t cause a problem for anyone else. The only catch is that I’m a person in the class just like you, so we have to consider what would be a problem for me as well.” (pg. 108)
16. Be a Thinker, Not a Fighter. Fighting Words (FW) tell kids what the adult is going to make them do. Thinking Words (TW) tell the kid what the adult will do.
17. Consequences vs. Punishment: What are you going for? “The difference between consequences and punishment is where we interpret the pain emanating from. Consequences result in pain coming from the INSIDE; punishment resutls in pain coming from the OUTSIDE.” (pg. 164) Which route do you take on a daily basis?
While the intention was one set of 17 quick hits, I just couldn’t resist to provide more nuggets of wisdom prevalent in this book. Definitely get a copy of it Here , and let me know how it goes!
Remember to share some awesome knowledge / principles you use in your practice to help your fellow teachers! Until next time…
All the Best,
Nicolette
My sister and I have been reading numerous blogs and post about how social media is ruining people’s lives. We do not want to contribute to that, however we wanted to put some of things we will share in perspective. We have a few blogs in the works, and I thought before we blog bomb you—I should send out this disclaimer.
Facebook Life:
Facebook gives you tiny glimpses into people’s lives, they put a picture up and say “Fun day at Arrowhead! Go Chiefs” or “Life is full of Blessings! J” It’s a short sweet snippet of information that really says “look at me I am having fun or Life is so good!” I understand Facebook can make life seem like a bowl of sunshine and teddy bears, but we all know life is not like that most of the time.
I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. I can’t stand it sometimes, I get mad at it, delete off my phone, only to come crawling back a week later because I want to be in your business without you knowing! I do this because I have a hard time reading posts when people use Facebook as a diary to air negative thoughts, spread articles of hate, or start going super-politico in a disrespectful manner (I understand a bad day and using FB to vent, but that is not what I am talking about.)
I personally don’t want to know everyone’s problems and prefer the sunshine and roses Facebook. What people have to realize is that FB is full of lies and bubble gum, so basing your happiness off information Facebook provides you about how happy, blessed, and wonderful someone is and feels, will only hinder your happiness.
There are two things I firmly believe:
Blog Life:
With that said this is a blog, not a diary. I love blogging because it gives me an outlet to share things I want with the people who are not around me. I can give you the story behind the pictures, and share my experiences. I will share recipes, crafting, mommy life, and any other ideas that pop into my head. And the most amazing part about this blog is you don’t have to read!! Yep, its your choice, you can click the “X” or ignore the post and you don’t have to see my fun! I can’t say I won’t ever post about feelings, or sad experiences but you wont see negativity on here! I would like to think that my sister and I can objectively critique something without just bashing it!
Real Life:
“Real Life” is hard. We work, play, travel, snuggle, have our hearts broken, second guess ourselves, love deeply, changes plans a million times and feel like we are losing our minds half of the time! My life is crazy! And in my world we are on the go 24/7! But I love every single second of it, because my goal is not to have a perfect life, but a happy one.
This is not my diary, it is meant to be fun. I will be as real as I always am with anyone, but that does not mean I will be spilling my guts on this site. So I hope you enjoy the upcoming Blogs because I have a ton coming your way! Enjoy the Bubble Gum!
